As i groggily peeled my face of the blow up mattress next to my wife's bed, she came bouncing in and informed me that I get to pickup a queen bed for FREE! All I have to do is get up cover myself with jeans and black sweater, the uniform of the world, and go out an get it.
Since Al Gore invented cold fusion and now this Internet thing, something extraordinary is taking place, besides this very blog. You can go online and get shit for free. People are giving it away, just to make room for more stuff.
It is as if the American consumer has an unwritten formula to live by:
First, make money so you can buy rooms / homes. Then make more money and get stuff. Bring stuff home clutter the rooms / homes. They call it decorating. Once you have a lot of stuff and friends ask why so much, say you collect. These days collecting is a cover for people who don't know what to do with their stuff. Then as you grow older and have too much stuff, you can give it as gifts for Christmas and Hanuka depending on what denomination your stuff is. Once the good stuff is gone, have a garage sale to make a buck or two on the stuff that you paid top dollar for at brand retail stores. If there is stuff that you cannot sell even for one dollar, you post it online so a stuff picker upper can come and unburden you.
Enter me. I am a stuff picker upper. Just occasionally. I like getting stuff for free or almost. I am the yin to your yang. You buy expensive stuff and a couple of years latter I come and pick it up. I love the Internet.
So as you stand in your rooms/ homes and enjoy a moment in an empty one you do what kids do, yell your own name and hear an echo bounce back from your empty walls. For a short while that is, for now you are scheming where to get new stuff and do it all over again. Can't have no stuff, do we now?
Oh, i get to go and pick up a free queen bed with headboard, frame, mattress and box spring. That's what the lady said.
I am so excited to go out and buy stuff for my new bed and accessories it!!
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